I must be feeling emotional because I just had a little weep at an episode of Only Fools and Horses that I’ve seen a hundred times, but it really hit a nerve this time. We’re going through the wringer a bit at the moment… but as I type that I realise that it’s become the norm around here and it probably feels that way in your lives too. It seems like at a point somehow, life grabs you by the balls and just doesn’t let go.
I’m sitting in our living room with wallpaper hanging off the walls, holes in the ceiling and a mishmash of furniture we’ve acquired over the years (FYI: we’re renovating). To the right of the sofa I’m sitting on is what has come to be known as the ‘staging area’ (bonus points if you get that Friends reference) that is full of boxes, paperwork and some bits and pieces we bought “for the new house” that has yet to find a place. Don’t be fooled by the neat, curated life we all try to present online, it’s not at all like that day to day here.
Sitting here I feel just like Del-Boy and Rodney in that god awful flat – with a carpet and wallpaper that burns your corneas and boxes of hooky bits and bats all over the place – but for the first time tonight I also feel it’s charm. We’ve got a roof over our heads, full bellies and each other and oh we’ll have stories to tell when we’ve made it.
I think back to when I was younger and I’d watch Only Fools and Horses at my Dad’s in his half renovated house; My Dad has always been a bit of a dreamer too. When I look back over the years I don’t remember the expensive dinners, gifts or holidays as warmly as I remember huddling under a blanket with a freezing cold nose watching TV or climbing through a window at the top of the stairs to get into the new extension. I look at his big, perfect house now and feel a little bit like it lacks that ‘dreamer’ charm of his old place.
Del-Boy had it down:
“I always wanted to be a millionaire, Rodney. I always wanted a Rolls Royce, a big house in the country, jet off to the Caribbean and all that. But it’s not like I thought it would be, you know? All the dreaming and the scheming and the chasing and the trying… that was the fun part, you know. It was like dangerous, it was impossible.”
Here’s to the journey! Let us not forget to appreciate and remember it when we finally make it. This time next year we’ll be millionaires! Loves x xx