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Change.

It’s been a long week. An exhausting week. I have spun from great highs to great lows, from feeling at the bottom of the pile kicking the dust and thinking everything I believed was a lie, to being on top of the world. From the ignorance and brashness of strangers to the love and selfless spirit of new friends and old.

I have mostly learned, though, that I cannot exist if I am not to be myself and if that means that I have to expose my scars to those that have broken me in the past or I have to risk my heart being broken again and again, then so be it. Life is hard for all of us, even those we most admire and we’re all faced with decisions that tear us apart inside and sometimes we will never know if the choices we made were the right ones. But you have to make those choices to stay alive. Merely existing is not enough.

Before this week I was so lost and alone and empty and numb. I had forgotten. Forgotten all of it.

But now I haven’t slept for days, I haven’t had the luxury of home cooked meals and cuddles from my man, I am utterly exhausted. Physically and mentally. But I feel full to bursting with life. Dreams, wishes, passion, desire, despair, hate, admiration, love. So much so my head is spinning and I can’t get it to calm down.

I know that I will forget again, it’s in my nature, but I hope that next time I can read this back and remember my way back home. And I hope in some way I can begin to share the love and wisdom and support that I have found in others, with you, through posting about what I believe in. To pick you up and help you find your way home and keep you believing in that fantasy world of yours and mine <3

So I hereby promise to be myself instead of a polished version of myself. To keep this blog updated with all the things I adore with my heart and soul instead of trying to make it… efficient. Business like.

Now I must go. The neighbours are singing like cats howling in the night and I need to find something to drown them out ;)

Loves, as always x xx

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posted by onetenzeroseven in Uncategorized and have Comments (2)
  • Rebecca’s Emporium

    Such a lovely post!
    I think I know exactly what you mean. It’s lovely to have you back Sophie :)
    I can’t wait to go and re-charge myself. I have a feeling I’m in the ‘lost’ place at the mo. But fingers crossed I can re-ignite ‘me’ soon :)

    Glad you had a lovely time away :)

    Can’t wait to read the next Onetenzeroseven post! x

  • http://onetenzeroseven.com/blog Sophie

     :) Thanks for the super lovely comment, dear!

    I really hope you re-ignite you soon, too!! When do you go away?

    The next step is bringing holidays and awesome stuff into real life, so we don’t have to go away somewhere to be ‘fixed’. Hehe. If you figure out how to do that, please let me know!! ;)